Silly selfie in black plaid flannel with tongue out
Being serious all the time is overrated.

I don’t have all my shit together. I’m a work-in-progress. Can we normalize this? Let’s normalize it.

I’m a Millennial, a le$bean. I just turned 30, and I’m not married. Alexa is the reason I wake up at a specified time and remember to eat my gummy vitamins to stave off malnutrition.

Life hacks help me survive adulthood when my spoons run low. Without Google Maps, I’m lost — and I’m terrified of being lost — or stranded; both.

I wholeheartedly believe there should be a cutoff age for which a person can be president, for no one should be allotted the power to determine the future they mayn’t live to fully see, and thus potentially catastrophic decisions they will never have to experience the aftermath for will not affect them. As Taylor Swift so intrinsically put it, only the young can run.

I grew up learning core subjects — science, maths, language arts, social studies, physical education, fine arts — instead of learning how to care for myself and live life after grade school. Yet, graduating high school put me in a position where everyone expected me to just know things, like it was supposed to click even though my neurodivergent brain does not function that way.

hej.gay is my blog & it grows with me. Right now, it’s is my journey to adulting, even though I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing most of the time.

Hej. I’m Jane E. Darling โœจ

Toddler in pink romper holding a rake, surrounded by leaves
I was probably 4 here.


  • love cats, but don’t yet have one because the deposit is $300. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ I am looking into the process of registering one as an emotional support animal, however, because that is what having a pet cat is for me. ๐Ÿˆ
  • am a lesbian. ๐Ÿณ๏ธโ€๐ŸŒˆ I used to identify grey ace, but I really just couldn’t accept my attraction to women and had no sexual interest in men, ever. ๐Ÿคญ
  • recently moved to Greenville, Texas — further into rural Texas than I wanted to, because low rent. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
  • consider myself a book dragon ๐Ÿ“š๐Ÿ‰. I’m unlikely to read your recs, so please don’t. ๐Ÿ‘Œ
  • was not named by my parents. ๐Ÿคญ This is not why I decided to change my legal name, for I changed it to stop the cycle of abuse and reclaim my autonomy.
  • have that agape love. Everyone tells me it’s a gift, but it honestly feels like a curse.
  • occasionally love learning different languages. I really love it because music, and tend to pick up romance languages from watching foreign films.
  • know who I am and what I want in my life. I’m not here for your inspiration porn.
  • don’t support the zero-waste movement, but I support the environment.
  • took a long time to realize I have the power to create the life I want to live, if I’d just reclaim my fucking autonomy. ๐Ÿ’ช These days, I enforce my boundaries and do not tolerate when people do not call me by my preferred name.

Behind the magic ๐Ÿ”ฎ

First and foremost, that adult is 300% green (affiliate link). ๐ŸŒฑ

This design marks the fourth time my good friend, Georgie, has designed my blog. For the fancy handwritten font, I’ve a commercial license (affiliate link).

Canva is how I create my graphics. Non-credited image sources include Pexels, Sexual Alpha and She Bold Stock.

Plugins that help my blog function include Classic Editor, Site Kit by Google, ManageWP and Ultimate Book Blogger (affiliate link).

hej.gay & that adult are part of the flannelfem.me network, which just redirects to this blog at the moment.

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