Frequently asked questions

Selfie ft. smiling, body from smile to shoes, holding drink and keys

Will you date my girlfriend? [and other ridiculous questions men send me]

No.

Can I guest post??

Not currently. Maybe in the future? Still working out the kinks.

It’s probz not the kind of guest posting you’re interested in, however.

What other sites do you have?

I run a fundamental site — a personal site 🎀.

That’s it, currently.

Do you have any general blogging advice?

The only way you’ll ever progress is if you stop trying to adhere to everyone else’s standards and be yourself. There is no other person who has everything that makes up you — your passion, your personality, your professional skills, your guilty pleasures.

“The things that don’t “fit in” that make you unique make you yourself – that is your gift to the world.” ~Sharon Stone

Whereas I once drowned in everyone else’s rules about how blogging should be, I now blog by my own standards. Because in the end, what matters most in blogging in that which sets you apart — as is true for many other industries, but especially creative/talent ones.

Find more tips in my internet category.

Plurality questions & answers based on our system experience

This is a WIP — questions from a list.

What do you go by collectively (e.g. system name, shared username, group pronouns, etc.)?

We are the Darling System! Collectively, our pronouns are they/them/theirs.

How should people refer to you (address individual members whenever possible, collectively, etc.)?

Before we came out, we “preferred”, or didn’t mind, people referring to the system as “Jane”, collectively.

Now, we are expressing ourselves individually and low-key prefer to be referred to as our individual names, because validation from being seen means so much. Isn’t that what everyone wants in life — to be seen, as themselves and for themselves, instead of someone else?

Generally, it is better to refer to us as the Darling System unless you are sure so-and-so is the primary host (Jane).

Who in your system are people most likely to interact with?

  • Jane – primary host
  • Betz – protector
  • Effy – trauma holder
  • Kelsey (Kelly)

Don’t see your Q? Email me via no@hej.gay.