I didn’t know it could be that serious.

It was the beginning of my senior year, and the group of friends I usually hung out with at The Mix (Wednesday night youth group church gathering) were not there. I hardly saw anyone I knew. So, I sat on the floor against the brick wall and began text messaging back and forth with any friend that replied. Growing up I was shy. I do not think I am as shy now as I was – especially in high school. I didn’t fit in with most groups.

A boy in which I didn’t know the name of at the time walked up to me and knelt on the concrete beside me. “Hey,” he said. I looked up and replied with a small, short, “hi” and closed my phone. “Why are you sitting alone?” By this point the group of friends he was with were standing about a foot or two behind him, just looking at me. I shrugged. “I don’t know anyone.” Then he introduced himself and told me that if I wanted to then – or any other time – hang out with him and/or his friends to just walk up to him.

He was nice. He was different. He had done something no one else had ever done before.

I logged onto Facebook and was going to check my FarmVille when I saw (don’t laugh) the people online on chat on the Facebook dashboard. One person in the small square seemed cute. I hovered over his name and then searched for his profile. I went to the website, Not A Day Promised, and after scanning the page, my mom and I knew what happened.

I didn’t know him well, but I still didn’t want to believe it. This depressed me; my mood was shot. Now I know three people who have committed suicide, and to me that number is not “just a small number”.

I didn’t know how bad Bipolar Disorder could be.

Anyway, I don’t really have much more to say …

I did write another post today; it’s Dirty Jobs. It tells how the other two kittens were saved.

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Comments on this post

Wait… I don’t quite understand… so the guy you randomly met at The Mix committed suicide?

I know a few bipolar people, a friend in high school and my roommate. Rooming with her while she was uncontrolled and in her depressed phase was scary, I was always afraid that I’d walk back from class to find her dead on the floor.

Suicide is either a big issue or a trivial issue. It tends to come in waves and pockets because people who witness one are more likely to do it themselves. So we have lots of people who find that it’s very serious and a lot of people who think it’s quite trivial because they haven’t witnessed anything of the sort before. But statistically speaking, suicide is not that a big deal when compared to something like cancer. However, it is a big deal because it can really affect a community, like my campus, which had 5 in one year recently after 20 years of nothing.

I actually feel like crying after reading that. It’s really sad, i hate suicide. He was so cute too. 🙁 And thanks about the layout comment. 🙂

So the guy you met at the mix (because your friends were not there) was that kid who had bipolar and committed suicide? I am just trying to get the facts straight. Mhm you never thought he would have killed himself? Suicide is sad and it sucks a lot that they reach that low. I know a lot of people who have died and would love to be in their position. I was actually talking about suicide with my friend earlier today. we have deep conbos.

he is so nice! haha I wish he lived by me. we would get a long so well, you know? Like we get along really well in person and offline. lol

And yea i guess i am like ur family, i thought of that first too haha. but mhm i think the new name is better. caling him Bee isn’t that bad

That’s really sad… I feel sort of torn up inside. I don’t know anyone who has committed suicide, but I know people who have tried. Whenever I hear about this I think about how much it really can be prevented or helped. 🙁 Three is not a small number, when it’s something serious like this. It’s upsetting.

I don’t have much to comment about this. I only know one who committed suicide and she seemed “ok”. 🙁 I have been really depressed before, kinda thought ‘it would be better without me’, ‘what’s the point’ etc, but I’ve never actually been serious…

Wait so the boy that was the only one that really noticed you as a senior in high school is the one who killed himself due to his Bipoloar disorder?

That’s really sad and even more sad for you I imagine since he clearly made an impact on your life, I mean that is something you will always remember and for that alone he clearly was a great person. It takes a lot of guts being the one to not care what everyone thinks and talk to the person that’s on the outside, you know? I admire people like that and I always try to be that person when I can, not that I’m always that person because I’ve done my share of ignoring people, but I try.

I’m sorry that he’s gone, my condolences. 🙁