Today I actually looked in the mirror for the first time in a while. I’m not talking about a glimpse or to snap a mental image of myself and “how great” I look. I know I’m seriously the least likely person one would think of as pretty, and the fact that I’m still just a B cup doesn’t help matters as far as telling my gender goes.[1. To be honest, I was mostly posting said picture because I thought my Dailybooth profile was still private, and I just want to take pictures for me. I take my pictures on there based on my moods, and I don’t primp myself up unless I feel like it.] I guess it’s my own fault; I enjoy wearing clothes that are comfortable and not so tight because I hate it when perverts stare at my butt and/or my chest areas. It’s quite insulting, and when I feel extra self-conscious about myself, I’d rather just wear things in which I am comfortable wearing. JS.
I guess I didn’t look too horrible. My bottom lip is so raw because I keep biting and chewing and nibbling all over it until blood is drawn, and then my Chapstick stings as I apply it to my lips. To be honest, I kind of like that small pain; it’s really the only pain I can control.
But I have other pain, too. The pain I experience nonstop and day-to-day in comparable to Bella’s Lonely Months episode in “New Moon”. The only difference is that I’m actually showering and brushing my teeth. But I feel like no matter what I do, I’m still just sitting on the side of the road looking out my dashboard and the windows as the world is just passing me by and never changing.
That’s just a piece of it, though.
Meh, come and seek me.